


Dirty Peaches REDUX

by my_soliloquy_chamber



Series: Stentor gets a girlfriend [2]
Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Assassin's Creed: Odyssey, Fruit as a teaching tool, Gen, talk about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28773249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_soliloquy_chamber/pseuds/my_soliloquy_chamber
Summary: Stentor's girlfriend wants to take their relationship to another level, but Stentor doesn't know how.Alexios offers some advice. And fruit.
Series: Stentor gets a girlfriend [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2075325
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6





	Dirty Peaches REDUX

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Dirty Peaches](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28339389) by [my_soliloquy_chamber](https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_soliloquy_chamber/pseuds/my_soliloquy_chamber). 



> So, I’ve been wanting to continue the “Stentor gets a girlfriend” series, so that, you know… he actually gets a girlfriend. But I’ve been having a really really hard time writing it. I would try one thing only to scrap it after a few pages because it just didn’t flow and felt wrong and ridiculous.  
> I finally realized that the reason why I’m having such trouble is because I just cannot imagine the type of woman who fits with the story so far from Melas Zomos and Dirty Peaches.  
> She is a Huntress. She is impressed by Stentor’s military career. She is too intimidated to talk to him directly, but can talk to Deimos about him just fine. She had what must have been a very unpleasant and misogynistic screaming match with him... but which did not end with his murder, or even attempted murder. What kind of person even is that? It’s certainly not someone who was a freaking Huntress before joining the crew.  
> So… as funny as writing Dirty Peaches was, I really painted myself into a corner with the way the story unfolded.  
> Therefore, here is Dirty Peaches Redux, which aims to fix the glaringly obvious problem that is: Stentor doesn’t deserve a girlfriend because he’s an unmitigated asshole and also how hasn’t he been murdered yet?  
> Hopefully, this will fix my writing block and I can move on to the next installment. If it still doesn’t help, then I’m sorry. Stentor will just have his girl “off screen”.

* * *

They were docked at Kos and most of the crew had scattered to enjoy what the little town had to offer. Kassandra was off on a contract and Alexios didn’t like to wander too far into towns and settlements without his sister by his side because…. Well, because.

He’d had a hankering for fresh fruit though and made a quick trip to the agora. Now he was making his way back to the ship, a mesh bag slung from his shoulder and his fingers already stained red from the pomegranate he was eating.

Stentor was sitting on the edge of the Adrestia, sharpening his blades with short, jerky movements. The scowl on his face was deep, his mouth pinched. 

Alexios made his way over and dropped down next to his brother. “Trouble in paradise?” He held out a cluster of pomegranate seeds in offering.

Stentor glanced at him, but made no move to respond.

For the last several days, Stentor had been a completely changed man. Happy, smiling, chatting freely with his siblings and the crew. Most of the time, though, was spent with Efima, one of the two huntresses on the ship.

The two of them would make sure to place themselves near each other, so they could talk or work together. This quickly devolved into them making excuses to slip away into dark corners of the ship, emerging long later with reddened lips and ruffled hair.

Now, suddenly, Efima was exploring the town with the crew, and Stentor was sitting alone and miserable, slowly grinding with weapons down to nubs.

“Did you two have a fight?” Stentor shook his head, but didn’t answer. “Whatever’s wrong, I’m sure you can talk it out. You shouldn’t just give up. You are good together. She makes you happy. You make her happy.”

His brother was a while before letting out a long sigh. “I can’t make her happy. I don’t know how…”

Alexios waited but when his brother didn’t elaborate, he spoke up. “What do you mean?”

“She wants to… um. She wants to have sex. And I… don’t know how. I’ve never… with a woman.”

Alexios did a mental victory dance, pleased that his brother trusted him with such intimate, sensitive information, but was very careful to keep his face neutral. “Oh… that’s…”

Stentor’s hands had stopped moving, the sword and whetstone laying still against his legs. “I can’t just… I’ll mess it up and she’ll laugh and leave and find someone else.”

“Did you tell her? That you… haven’t?” Stentor looked at him, appalled and aghast, red blooming on his cheeks. 

“I can’t tell her that! She’ll… she’ll laugh and…” He hid his face in his hands and moaned miserably.

“I’m _sure_ she won’t do that. She’ll be happy you told her so you can discover what you both like, together.” But his brother put his sword and whetstone to the side and shook his head, pushing himself to his feet.

“I’ll just go find a hetaera to teach me.” Alexios groaned and reached up, grabbing his brother and pulling him back down. His hand was firm on Stentor’s neck as his brother struggled, silently reminding him of the immense power he still wielded. 

“First of all. Do _not_ go have sex with hetaera or any other women when you are trying to get a specific woman to like you. They _do not_ appreciate that.” He waited until his brother nodded before releasing him.

He took a deep breath and shook his head. “Stentor. I need you to listen to me.” He looked at his brother expectantly until he returned his look and nodded. “That woman _likes_ you. I’ve been watching her make eyes at you for weeks, had to listen to her talk dreamily about you for weeks, and now you two have been attached at the lips for _days_ . She _likes_ you. She _wants_ you. What has that woman ever done to make you think she’d _laugh_ at you?”

Stentor’s lips had softened into a smile at Alexios’ description of Efimas crush, and he shook his head gently, looking down at the water. “Nothing.”

“That’s right. Nothing. She wouldn’t do that.” He sighed. “Look, I understand wishing you already had some experience, but you don’t. And going out now to get it from someone else will only drive Efima away. Besides, the best teacher for what you want to be able to do, is Efima herself.”

He glanced at his brother, sitting hunched and defeated. “That doesn’t mean I can’t give you some general advice and tips.”

Stentor looked up, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. “You have to use your hands, your fingers, your lips and tongue… all over a woman’s body, long before your own perizoma comes off. Kissing, caressing, licking, nipping, tickling.”

Stentor was blushing even brighter, his face almost matching the color of his Spartan chiton. “I heard… some soldiers… talking once, about licking and sucking between her… a woman’s legs. That they like that. Is that… true?” He looked a little apprehensive, nose wrinkled lightly.

Alexios chuckled and reached into the mesh bag, pulling out a peach. He started peeling the fruit with his knife and glanced at his brother. “Yeah, some women like that. A lot. You’ll have to ask Efima if she does too.” 

Stentor still had a slight wrinkle to his nose. “Come on, don’t you want _her_ to put her mouth between _your_ legs? Fair’s fair.”

He saw his brother’s mouth go a little slack and his eyes become distant. “I… I wouldn’t even know where to begin.” 

“Dirty Peaches.” Stentor blinked and looked confused. Alexios cut small slivers of the half-peeled peach and popped them into his mouth. “When I was younger, living with… well, whenever someone liked a girl, or just wished they had a girl to like, they would carve a peach to practise kissing on… or practise _kissing_ on… And if someone showed up while they were in the middle of it, they could just eat the evidence.”

Alexios handed the peach over and got to his feet. “Practise on that for a bit, and then talk to Efima so you can practise with _her_ instead.”

Stentor looked at the fruit in his hand, confused. Alexios grinned. “Just get all the juices out of that peach without using your teeth or breaking off any of the flesh. Make sure you get your tongue into all the nooks and crannies.”

He clapped his brother on the back and walked to the hatch that would take him below deck. 

Behind him, he heard a soft, slurping sound.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> There, that’s much better. :)   
>  Though… have you heard the term “kill your darlings”?    
>  I loved the little speech Alexios gave about Kassandra in the first version, but it really didn’t fit in here so I had to cut it out.  
> *sad face*   
>    
>  If you want to read the original version, you can find it here:   
>  [ https://archiveofourown.org/works/28339389 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28339389)   
>    
>  I was reading up on Alexios’ adopted “mother” Chrysis and found this on the wikia: “She healed him, and then raised him as her own  **among many** to serve the Cult of Kosmos, teaching him that the world is pain.”    
>  I never realized Deimos was raised alongside other children, but once I found out, I figured that they, just like all people over the eons, would have carved out some small moments of normalcy no matter how brutal their lives were. (get it?  _ carved  _ out? hihi.)   
>  Perizoma is the ancient version of underwear.


End file.
